Look at this picture. eleven men, one Roll Deep. Do you know what that says to me? It says here are eleven fellas who probably spend quite a lot of time queuing in order to do their job, or waiting to have another go, once theirs has finished. They might cover it up with an arm in the air or two, a walk from one side of the stage to the other, a moody stare into the crowd, some bouncy high-fives, and a certain amount of joining in at the end of each line, but when you get right down to it, it's all just queueing.
And to make matters worse, sometimes the queue is barged by a singer. Someone who isn't actually even IN Roll Deep. They've be brought in on chorus duties, taking precious rhyme time away from people who've been in the queue for ages, actually. It's not fair, just because they can provide some melodic light relief from all of that truth-spitting, that they get to stroll right to the front. That's basically added an extra thirty seconds of arm waving and an agreeable "yeah yeah" or two, right there.
So don't be surprised if you notice that some of the more backgroundy Deepers are subtly shooting daggers at Alesha during her bits. They're only worried that they won't get a go on the mic.
(Here's the video. Woo! Party in a car park!)
And how do they decide what to make a song about? With that many people, all of whom bringing their own idea of what makes a great song to the mix, do you suppose Roll Deep have to agree to work to very broad subject headings. I'm picturing a meeting, a brainstorm, and a final list which reads:
"Things We Like: Parties, Girls, Clubs, Money.
Things We Do Not Like: No Parties, Being Knocked Back, Closing Time, No Money, Queuing."
And on a separate page, there's a signed agreement that every other topic is off limits, pending a formal agreement from everyone that they've got something new and worthwhile to bring to the table.
Then all they need is some enormous swooping bass squits together, a breakbeat here, a face-punch bass drum, a robotic breakdown, and boom! Another song done, providing it doesn't get TAKEN OVER by some pushy celebrity singing guest and their pretty voice, natch.
Click here to see this fantastic review in all its glory on the BBC Chart Blog here
Roll Deep featuring Alesha Dixon "Take Control" is OUT NOW- click here to download your copy from iTunes